The other day I learned of news that shocked me and reminded me again that I have a guardian angel who clearly intervened that time and steered me away from going to the dark side.
I also felt good (relieved, if I may say) to realize that I was not just imagining this fantasy in my head. My instincts were right all along and I should really be nice to myself and stop telling myself that I am undesirable at this stage of my life.
If my guardian angel did not do anything that time, I was the perfect recipe for disaster, with me being at a very vulnerable state. I cannot imagine the downward spiral it would have brought my life to, I would probably have gone insane with the consequence to the affected lives brought about by my actions.
Feeling this invisible force determining my fate reminds me of what Arundhati Roy said in her memoir, that even with the bad choices of actions she's done (e.g. taking illegal drugs) she somehow still ended up going on a straight path. I'm hoping that's how my path would also be, that I will still find the happiness that I am meant to be.
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